kehilangan~tersangkut melibas

Life aq mmg dabtambah teruk sejak2 ne..
yes....i'm FAILED in my EMOTIONS management..
so balik ke kolej...acting happy2...dalam hati..hanya kosong,sepi,lonely abes...
korang nk ckp aq manja..?mamposlah..
it's not u walking in my shoes..in my head,my emotions and thoughts...so stfu..
dalam samar2,cuba bangun and terima hakikat,
aq kehilangan someone yg aq syg lg..t kali ne ke rahmatullah..
nenda aq..yg...
ahh..mmg rapat dgn aq gile2..and aq cucu harapan..langsung tade ksempatan nk melawat dye...
ad ntuk kali terakhir pun aq ta dapat tatap dye...
kubur pun aq ta dapat tgok...
and i'm so lonely and lost..
hilang arah abes...makin...kosong..
aq doa jugak dgn tuhan.....supaya...
aq pulak yg mnyusul lepas ne....
soul btul2 da hilang..wounded abes..
kalau la...dye masih seperti dahulu...
kami still bersama...mungkin....aq akan jadi lebih oke dr ne...
i guess..when a heart breaks it dont break even.....
sbb i still cant let go...</3
and now..i lost both things important...in my life..
cuma bezany..si dia still wander arund depan mata aq..
while...my granny..da troz ta nmpak..
my grandpa really nmpk try to fake stuff..
the last thing she mention bout me b4 she die is.."maafkan la,bf ha..pandanglah muka dia dlm kelas..maafkan ape yang dye sakiti ha...maafkan lah dye...baliklah kolej..jangan cm gne.."
and one thing..i just know..my grandma cried bcoz of me..when she in hospital...
woooww,beban..rasa bersalah...
medical student jenis ape aq ne....and i died slowly inside...............
i really do...and i fucking mean what i said......ahh........LIFE to me=nothing anymore....